Lurch lurch lurch lurch

So going to be out, like, getting a driving lesson right. Some nice quiet area where there is nobody else in view for a thousand miles. But no, that would be too easy. Lets get a driving lesson on road where there are small annoying children running everywhere. SACs that don't piss off when you almost run over them but instead hang around and stare at the ponker who can't even do something simple like drive away without stalling 3 times and having a heart attack twice.

How to test a relationship: Get your partner to teach you how to drive but get them to change the names of the buttons pedals - Get them to call the break the go-fast-button accelerator and stuff like that. See if you too don't have a heart attack.

Driving looks so easy; why doesn't the car do what I want it to do instead of what I tell it?

I think P must really love me since she didn't scream or slap me at all while we were out. Well, maybe one or two screams but I can forgive that. Especially since she trusted me enough to stay in a car I was driving worse than Stevie Wonder. I think I love her too.

Maybe if I bought a driving simulator with a proper steering wheel, some of those foot things and that stick whatchacallit. Then I could practise without being afraid I was going to run over some poor toddler or drive into a china shop.